Ending The Battle of The Sexes
by VampedVixen
Summary: Irma and Caleb go head to head in a battle to end all battles.


Title: Ending The Battle of The Sexes  
Author: Vixen  
Prompt: Endings  
Word Count: 1116

"But did you check out his shoes?" Cornelia asked as the guardians relaxed in the basement of the Silver Dragon after the night's long battle. Wrapping some chicken chow mien around her fork, she explained her unusual powers of deduction. "I mean, of course he was evil zombie-thing! No one who has a mind of their own would be caught dead in those thrift store rejects."

Caleb, who was half-listening as he sat in the back of his room on his bed, shook his head. As he rolled his eyes, he muttered, "Girls.."

Leave it to Cornelia to use fashion sense when deciding battle tactics. For the hundredth time since he had met them, Caleb wondered if fate was just toying with him, sending him schoolgirls when what he really needed were warriors. Then again, he couldn't say anything bad about their track record, they'd managed to get this far without killing themselves after all.

"Excuse me, what was that, Rebel Boy?" Irma put down her plate of shrimp wantons, a challenge in her voice. She looked past her friends at the table, raising her eyebrows at him. "Anything you'd care to share with the rest of us?"

"Those 'evil zombie-things' are called Amatmons." He explained impatiently, perhaps more annoyed that he had been caught muttering than anything else. Standing up, he crossed his arms and made his way over to the table. "You can tell that they're hypnotized by the color of their eyes."

"And by their shoes," Cornelia interrupted with a 'my logic works just as well at yours' look in her eyes.

There was just no arguing with her, so Caleb decided not to even bother. He sighed, ran a hand through his tousled brown hair and walked away from the table. Raising his hands to the ceiling, in a giant shrugging motion, he said to no one in particular, "Earth girls.. Are they all this crazy, or is it just the ones I'm stuck with?"

Hearing this, Irma pushed her plate away and jumped up from the table. The rest of the girls looked at her in complete shock, as she announced the terms of her challenge to Caleb. "Okay, buddy, I've let this go long enough. The battle of the sexes ends here. You think you're so tough, let's arm wrestle for the chance to prove which is really stronger: the girls or the boys."

Caleb whirled around, about to apologize for being such an ass, but the way Irma was starring at him changed his mind. "Okay, let's do it."

"Here are the conditions of the match," Irma told him as the rest of the girls cleared the table to make way for their contest. "If I win, and I will, you can't ever roll your eyes and mutter anything about 'us little girls' again. Because, boy, am I'm getting really tired of that. And if you win--"

"If I win," Caleb finished her sentence. "you have to cover my next three shifts at the restaurant." He held out his hand and they agreed on the rules with a firm handshake. Sitting down across the table from each other, they both studied their opponent. This fight was already won as far as Caleb was concerned, she wasn't even in Guardian form for one thing.

He rolled up his shirt until it was past his elbow and then clasped his hand around Irma's, testing the weight of the slender palm with his fingers. The other girls stood in a circle around the contestants, eagerly awaiting the result.

Before they begun, Will stepped forward, holding both their hands together. "Okay," The redhead said, getting most of her lines from the television programs the little boy she used to babysat watched. "I want a clean fight and I want a fair fight. No biting, scratching, or hitting below the belt! Now let's do it."

Will let go and the two of them were off, each striving to beat the other and neither getting very far. It was tougher than Caleb imagined. He grunted and tried to maintain his composure, "I'm sorry I have to do this, Irma, but you're going down. Hope you have fun working at the restaurant, make sure you get Mr. Hammond's order right. He gets really angry when waiters screw up."

Irma only laughed this off yet she too was struggling hard not to lose, "Let us not forget, Caleb, that when we first met you were stuck in the bottom of a hole. It was a girl, gasp, I know, who saved you from wasting away in that oubliette."

"Yeah," Caleb was slowly turning red as he secretly wondered how she had gotten so strong. He wouldn't let the struggle show in his features however, not wanting to give her any satisfaction that might make winning easier. "But that was only after you almost drowned me in that same rescue attempt."

As the two of them battled it out, attempting to reach a final conclusion to the battle that had raged since the first man and woman walked on Earth, or Meridian for that matter, Hay Lin whispered into Cornelia's ear. The blond cocked an eyebrow, seeming to think over what had been said. Finally, she nodded and walked in back of Irma. Making sure she was in Caleb's view, she lifted her shirt over her breasts and flashed him.

Caleb's eyes went wide, taking in the sight of her fleshy pink breasts. She might be too caught up in fashion at times, but he still couldn't help deny the attraction he felt. For an instant he was completely unaware that he was still arm wrestling, completely consumed by lust. It only took that one moment for him to be thrown off course and for Irma to win the match. "Pinned ya!"

"Hey, wait a minute," He balked when he finally realized what had happened, starring at his hand as it lay on the table, covered with Irma's own. It figured that they would all try to gang up on him, after all they did everything in packs. "You-- she-- That wasn't fair!"

"How is it not fair to use all of our assets to win a fight? And I do mean ALL our assets." Irma smirked at him, raising her chin slightly in the air. Then she got up and wrapped her arms around Taranee and Cornelia, beginning to lead the rest of the group out the door. "Come on, girls, let's leave Caleb alone to think about how it's not nice to mess with the females of a species."

Caleb silently watched them go, but just as they left called out, "Best two out of three?"

The End.


End file.
